Evangelion Presents: Girls' Ride Out
by Author0fntent
Summary: Some of the women of EVA enjoy a musical car ride.


*Disclaimer: I own nadda of Gainax, Paramount, or Stax Records. So yes, I do know who I think I am.*

**Suggested audio: watch?v=lPgOg4dg2ZM**

Asuka and Hikari had just left the mall with Rei, the latter having been convinced to join them (at Hikari's insistence) to try and do something about her wardrobe. Misato pulled up to the curb, intent on giving Hikari and Rei a lift home. The two sat in the back, with Asuka in the front passenger seat. The quartet soon drove off towards their respective destinations.

Asuka: Anyone mind if I turn on the radio?

Misato: All right, but this time, NO metal stations.

Hikari: Seconded.

Rei: Third.

Asuka [muttering under her breath]: **_Spielverderber_**...

Misato [smirking]: What was that?

Asuka: Nothing!

Asuka switched the radio on, and found the radio was on an oldies station.

DJ:...And that was the Beatles with "Strawberry Fields Forever". Up now is a classic one-hit-wonder from '71, "Mr. Big Stuff" by Jean Knight...

Misato: OH! I love this song! [Oh yeah, ooh]

As the song began playing, Misato started to sing along to it.

Misato [fingers tapping on the wheel]:

_Mr. Big Stuff_

_Who do you think you are_

_Mr. Big Stuff _

_You're never gonna get my love_

_Now because you wear all those fancy clothes_ [Hikari: _oh yeah_]

_And have a big fine car, oh yes you do now_

_Do you think I can afford to give you my love_ [Hikari and Asuka: _oh yeah_)

_You think you're higher than every star above_

Soon Misato, Asuka and Hikari started bobbing their heads along to the song. Eventually, small smile forming on her face, Rei joined in as well.

Misato, Asuka and Hikari:

_Mr. Big Stuff _

_Who do you think you are_

_Mr. Big Stuff _

_You're never gonna get my love_

Hikari:

_Now I know all the girls I've seen you with_

_I know you broke their hearts one after another now, bit by bit_

Asuka:

_You made 'em cry, many poor girls cry_

_When they try to keep you happy, they just try to keep you satisfied_

All four:

_Mr. Big Stuff, _[Misato:_ tell me tell me_]

_Who do you think you are_

_Mr. Big Stuff _

_You're never gonna get my love_

Hikari then spotted someone on a sidewalk up ahead.

Hikari: Hey, isn't that Mari?

Misato, curious, pulled the car over. Sure enough, it was Asuka and Rei's fellow EVA pilot, one Mari Illustrious Makinami.

Asuka: Mari, what're you doing here? You partied out or something?

Mari: Nah, I just missed my bus by accident.

Misato: Hop in, we'll give you a lift. Don't worry, it's no big deal.

Mari: Really? 'Kay then!

Asuka: Hold on, what if she honks in the car?

Mari [giving the 'scouts' honor' sign]: I'm giving you a no-honk guarantee.

Mari then hopped into the middle seat between Hikari and Rei.

Rei: If you do vomit, please kindly do so in this. [Hands Mari a small brown paper bag.]

Soon enough, Mari joined in on the impromptu sing-along.

Mari [playing air bass]:

_I'd rather give my love to a poor guy that has a love that's true (oh yeah)_

_Than to be fooled around and get hurt by you_

Rei [surprising everyone else with her 'long-hidden' singing voice]:

_'Cause when I give my love, I want love in return [oh yeah]_

_Now I know this is a lesson Mr. Big Stuff you haven't learned_

All:

_Mr. Big Stuff, tell me_

_Who do you think you are_

_Mr. Big Stuff _

_You're never gonna get my love_

_Mr. Big Stuff_

_You're never gonna break my heart_

_Mr. Big Stuff _

_You're never gonna make me cry_

_Mr. Big Stuff, tell me_

_Just who do you think you are_

_Mr. Big Stuff _

_You're never gonna get my love_

_Mr. Big Stuff_

Just as they were finishing the song, a siren blared in the background as soon they were followed by a motorcycle cop. Misato noticed their pursuer in the mirror and quickly pulled over to the side of the road. She lowered her window as the cop walked up. The other girls looked out the windows to see what all the fuss was over.

Misato: Yes officer, is there something wrong?

The cop then lowered himself to address Misato and the girls with his unhelmeted head in view. Unfortunately, this cop happened to look an awful lot like a certain Robert Patrick character...

Cop: Have you seen this boy? [Holding up a picture of a teenage John Connor.]

The eyes of all five of the car's occupants went wide as dinner plates. Surprisingly, Rei of all people proved to be the most genre-savvy of them.

Rei: FLOOR IT!

Misato immediately put the pedal to the metal as "Time Machine" by Black Sabbath started playing on the radio. The car quickly put a lot of mileage between them and the T-1000 lookalike as it zoomed off into the distance.

*Author's Note*  
The whole setup's a riff on both the iconic opening car ride from _Wayne's World _and a scene from that same film that spoofed _T2_. Just in case the joke was lost on you for a bit. I thought it'd be fun to see a femme-centric riff on that classic automotive musical moment of cinema, with a humorous twist at the end.


End file.
